Just about every communication consultant, trainer, coach, or speaker I have heard, always quotes a study done by Dr. Albert Mehrabian from UCLA which supposedly concluded that how you look and how you sound are more important than what you actually say.

Well, I’m sick of hearing it!

This study has been quoted incorrectly more times than I care to count. But if I was counting, it would be almost as many times as Pluto was called a planet and more times than there are stars in the sky. Okay, maybe not, but a whole bunch of times. You get my point, and I hope my frustration.

I want to state clearly and plainly:

What you say is more important than how you say it.

What you do, the actions you take, are more important than what you say.

To quote Mehrabian himself from the preface of his book Silent Messages:

“Indeed, in the realm of feelings, our facial and vocal expressions, postures, movements, and gestures are so important that WHEN OUR WORDS CONTRADICT THE MESSAGES CONTAINED within them, others mistrust what we say—THEY RELY ALMOST COMPLETELY ON WHAT WE DO”. (caps supplied by me)

Because of the false conclusions drawn from the study, we’ve been led to believe—and have not questioned it, that it’s only how we say things—and how we look when we say them, that really matters.

In other words, style is more important than substance.

I say NOT!

Let’s think back in history for a moment. President Abraham Lincoln was one of the most famous orators in continued here...